WHY?

u came to mi, smiled, bringing back all tt memories that had became blurred.

it all seems so vivid now, as i helplessly remember all the times that we spent together,
i hate to admit but every single detail was harshly put in place.

sch; u and ur frenz teasing mi ard the stairs; the bridge; the bus trip home; u and yf de siaoing manfred when he is giving us drills; u playing bball; shopping; eating; cabs; calls in the middle of the night; msges; the exact words tt u told mi tt made mi redo my experiment in AVA. those words still does haunt mi.

i haven been looking at ur profile for ages, cuz u are already a past, sweet but bitter at the end.
if i had thought abt u, i could not even put a face to ur name already.

but why have u came back to mi so sudden?

i dun seem to comprehend.

is it becuz i hav been feeling uptight recently?

is it becuz the first is always hardest to forget?

or is it,

is its becuz

deep down in my heart

i am still struggling to find an answer?

an answer tt u owe mi from yr 2 till now?

an answer tt i need to forget about u completely which u denied mi?

maybe jus maybe

wo bu gan xin.

wo bu gan xin jiu zhe yang si le, wo bu gan xin si de bu ming bu bai, bu gan xin zhe muo ming qi miao de an pai, bu gan xin ni de yi ju: " when the time comes, you will know." ba bu zhi tou xu de wo ta xia le di yu.

can ren de ni que bu duo jia jie shi.

i wanted to hate u, but i couldnt.

at least u taught mi sth, u let mi understand that ai qing bu shi dan chun de, yong yuan bu hui.

haiz, today suppose to go meet angeline. but cuz ytd watch the coffin, then slpt till 8 plus in the morning darling wake up then i dun dare to slp le cuz darling went to work and i am lyk all alone at home.

whenever i closed my eyes i will tink of the movie scenes so i decided to play psp till i am so tired to tink of other things and fell aslp. woke up at ard 4pm with stomach cramps. wth. maybe i ate sth wrg or sth. haiz, cancelled my date with angeline and stayed at home, surfing net, doing my stuffs online.

called darling cuz i tot he might be going fishing with his buddies, turned out no, they are going prawning and darling will go join them later.haiz, but darling nv ask mi whether i wanna join so i keep quiet.

have been wanting to go prawning since ages but since nobody is going so well, no go lorz. i tot darling will onli go there lyk 9 plus cuz he say he go there tok tok awhile then will be back. jus called him and he is already there. haiz. sad.

asked him how come there so early and nv ask mi whether i wan to go, have he forgotten i keep asking him tt i want to go prawning for lyk ages long ago?

he replied," i nv prawn wad, i only here watch them, u also nv say u wan to come larz."

but i told u uber lots of times i wanna go prawning wad, u forgot?

and he replied," i tot u meeting ur fren? how i noe u nv meet them u at home?"

but u nv ask wad, if u ask mi then even if i got meet my frenz or not i will still go wad.

then u enjoy lorz, bye.

and he said," then u ownself angry lorz."

wad is this lorz? i called u 2 times today and u nv even mentioned t mi, u jus tell mi U are going to watch them later. i ask when? u say after work. BUT u nv ask mi whether i wan to go or not wad. lyk tt how i dare to ask u if i could go or not? if later i did ask and u say( as usual most of the time u replied mi this way) " ai yah, u stay at home larz k, i very fast come back liao." then how?

then wouldnt i be dissappointed again? then i will feel more sad rite? tts why i nv ask, tts why i only hint but nv ask direct. till now u still dun understand mi?

i rmb once telling u that among all my relationships, together with u makes mi the happiest gal in the world. but my happiest times are becuz of u. ironically, my saddest moments are also becuz of u. i am so confused so tired. i dun wan to be sad anymore with u.

but u told mi in the eyes tt becuz you make mi the happiest of cuz when compared equally, when i am sad becuz of u, it will be always my saddest moment.

i am hurt tt u said those words to mi. " ni zi ji angry lorz, bye."

it shows tt u dun understand mi at all.

i am sad because u forgot wad i said. period.
not cuz of anything.

omg!

omg omg OMG!!!

ELAINE HATES MI !
ELAINE HATES MI !
ELAINE HATES MI !
ELAINE HATES MI !

what what???

" I HATE SHERYL!
I HATE SHERYL!
I HATE SHERYL!
I HATE SHERYL!
I HATE SHERYL!
*
*
*
*
Elaine Hate Sheryl so much, as why she can read out whats my thinking easily.
Elaine: sheryl, I think......... *forget it, don say out better.
Sheryl: I know, you gonna tell me you like XXX. right?
Elaine: Jitao *blur* LOL. I din even tell you what i'm trying to say lehs. "

LOL! not my fault lehz, able to noe what u are tinking
even before u voice it out not good mehz?
huh huh huh ???

hee, u dun hate mi larz, is u too shock beyond words nia haha... i forgive u , lol!

:)

techno craze

watched eagle eye with darling and frenz.
gd show which i rate 9/10. :)

the plot is predictable somehow,
somewhere from the scene where the mysterious caller showed jerry and racheal tt she indeed had all info that she knew about them. (from the numerous tv screens in a certain room).
thus my suspect changes from an incredulous cyber terrorist, to aileen, the eagle eye.

ha! talk about how man created powerful machines, to aid us in our quest to take over the universe, only to end up almost nearly killing everyone. aileen actually can even have human manipulation powers, where she can trick jerry into impostering ethan, to unlock her. power lorz.

i noe, my blog is lyk totally dying soon.

okie okie guys, i ma kinda busy u noe, roadshows, work, sick, stressed,
but i did accompanied my frenz and darling out in the little time tt i had larz.

hmm, not in order but jus a very brief update:

went out to eat with chin boon at serangoon gardenssome days ago i tink , the food is awesome!
then headed down to AMK for signing, yes, waited for my client for uber long hrs.lol
yah not to mention he fly mi aeroplane the day before so i stayed in PH to acc elaine, feryln, alicia, amelia, audrey. cheryl and cheryl's fren. did i miss anywan out lol?
oh yah, PH tt nite was so packed tt nite, so many things happened but its alrite, i wun mention it here, but nevertheless its F-U-N man! been a few light yrs since i last stepped in there, i tink its with staciy and the RX-8 guy tt i forgot his name and gang. lol

went jalan at far east plaza after work and ended up doing retail therapy, erm, i tink 1 week ago ba. spent 100+ at osmose and guess who i bumped into there, uber shockness! to tink tt i nv see her face to face for lyk 2 yrs( yah only photos) and there she is suddenly when i came out of the changing room. wth, at places which she frequent also nv bump into, but at osmose?!?!?! wad kinda world is this? stunned but nvm, its not lyk she can stare at mi and i will die marz, so i proceed to choosing my purchases yap and i called darling to whine too, cuz i jus feel lyk at tt moment. haha, power!

met elaine at her counter whenever i hav the time. elaine, see how good i am to u lol, slap mi ba, hahaha. pei her eat dinner etc, tok and gossip, recollecting the past lol. nth to do marz. oh yah, she gave mi a lip cream/lip balm from kose, her free make-up, the perfect antidote for mi chap lips, okie larz, not so chap but cuz i used to using lip balms le, and it totally became my favourite liao okie!
then we went to far east to find cheryl and alicia, and guess wad we did again? no prizes though, haha shopping lorz. lol. elaine wanted to find the kimono tt alicia bought but no luck, haha ended with eating at KFC. topics tt we talk made us laugh till side pain sia.

sun went out with my darling biibii, and his frenz, first stop to eat, which pardon mi for forgetting where. then to JP arcade, why? to catch bear bear! haha, the sweeeeetz machine. u noe the jackpot machine where u keep digging out sweets then pile them up to push the sweets in front etc then jackpot and a big soft toy will be yours? haha, yap, and darling got for mi a big big winnie the pooh ard half my size lol, and a mickey and minnie weddings pillow, pink satin and lace, haha i lyk. bleah. after tt darling went fishing and he took mi along. happy face+bliss :)
watch them catch fish and gossip with nichole and steph. as usual :)

3 consecutive days of rdshows at the interchange spells T-I-R-I-N-G! u try and see lorz, no aircon, ppl rejecting u tinking they noe all abt ins when they dun noe abit, the "talk-to-my-hand signals", and i hate J***S. i just reach rdshow and u spoil my mood. u are a godamn manager (thank god not my manager) and u shd jolly well know tt if u spoil the consultant's mood how is she going to face the strangers out there and still smile and be motivated? wtf larz u. and my whole day for the roadshow is spoiled and i had fcuking paid money u noe, PAID MONEY FOR IT HORZ! (sry for the vulgarities cuz i am very angry writing this)

tts about it i guess.

nxt i will upload the long overdued photos i promise. lol

random array of photos tt i dug out:)

Edna and mi at seetin's wedding day.



















Vivian and mi during work way long ago.















Tia and mi @soup spoon















when i still had my curls....



















took on the morning of seetin and desmond's wedding















the bros got sabotaged. haha















"marry mi will ya? "















Brenda and mi @ her birthdae chalet















brenda's baby boy :)















ME! When i am ard 3 or 4 i tink. haha



















mi @ chalet; minimum make-up!





















Steph and mi on our way to wild wild wet.