i miss u

i miss the old u.



i miss the alan tt will ask mi whether i wan to accompany him to go anywhere he is going.



i miss the alan tt constantly showed me with care and concern.



i miss the alan tt will consider my feelings and turn down invitations to gather cuz we haven spent time together.



i miss the alan tt will always call mi to say "dunno why suddenly i miss u alot..."



i miss the alan tt will always text me msgs saying he miss mi, asking hows my day.



i miss the alan tt will bring mi to mt faber, jurong hill, kent ridge park to view night sceneries.



i miss the alan tt will take initiative to ask mi wad i am tink, wad i want to do, where i wan to go.



i miss the alan tt will notice tt i am not happy and cheer mi up.



i miss the alan tt will whisper sweet-nothings to mi.



i miss the alan tt makes effort to spent time with mi though he is busy.



i miss the alan tt will tell mi everything.



i miss the alan tt i trust.





where are u now?



where are u when i need u most?



answer this truthfully.



the answer is tt u are always with ur frenz, entertaining ur frens. i noe, the guys always say brothers are forever, gf can always change/throw away.



if so, then tell mi is there difference between brotherly love and gf love?



if none then i suppose guys can marry the brothers and hav babies with their brothers liao rite?



obviously cannot rite?



then the sentence doesnt stand.



u told mi u dun lyk to wear couple ring. u say xue er also bought for u to wear but u only wear a few months.

u say u tink wear already very suay. i ask why u say cuz ur experience and ur frenz' experiences reflect to u tt wear le sooner or later will break.

its not lyk tt de. if u keep keeping quiet and dun speak up to resolve our probs then ur nightmare will come.

cuz quarrel quarrel also will tired wad. true?



tinking on the line, for all my past relationships, i dun endure this kind of nonsense. i wun wei qu myself. its becuz of u, U and YOU tt i keep holding on. i believe talking it all out can solve our prob. but u just dun wan to talk. u just wan to keep mumb. u tink tt toking out will make it bigger and more misunderstanding will happen. i really dunno why u tink lyk tt.



guy lie to girl when girl ask him sth.

cuz guy dun wan girl to misunderstand and be sad.

then girl found out tt guy lied.

then how?



girl more sad rite? and of cuz more angry rite?

then guy explain tt guy dun wan misunderstand cuz its nth much.



in the first place if guy tell the truth the everything will be alrite, jus question abit and angry abit.



lying jus increase the chances of misunderstanding and mistrust.



it jus made the whole thing worse.



understand?



-----------------------------------





every group has little secrets- big ones, small ones, shocking ones.



u will nv noe who lets out the bomb even after u are busted.



cuz the remote often doesnt lies in a person's hand; its in several.





u noe u love mi,



xoxo



------------------------------------------



actually the explanation was very unlogically, as a matter of fact it comes to mi as quick witted though.

in a timeline, it looks lyk a delibrate cover up. u noe ur reputation huh?





------------------------------------------



i hate tt bitch, yes, u. and dun get flattered, cuz the naming of bitch was jus a mere subsitution of word. i dun lyk leaving blanks. u heard mi.



on a second thought, pseudo sounds better huh?



------------------------------------------



tinking of renting a place to stay, cuz this cant go on forever. i dun care wad everybody tinks but u shd noe wad i mean. u are stressed doesnt mean i nv have to take the same thing. if not i wun wan to contemplate having this route.



-----------------------------------------

gosh!

dl the last episode of gg but haven watch it until now.

oh my gosh!

is tt guy in the coffee shop scott- the long lost(tot was dead) son of L and D's father?
i tink it is.

and and and B and C finally got together, how nice!

hmm, couldnt wait for season 3 to come..

:)

tweet tweet tweet...

awsdfgyujkl

why i say so much you still dun get it ?

totally dishearten..

why do u hav to bluff mi?

u tink i would not find out mehz?

u say u dun wan let mi noe cuz dun wan mi sad cuz to u its nothing.

but then to mi its a big big thing.

and now i noe le, how?

more pain rite?

isnt it worse?

why is it tt u still dun understand?

how could i trust u in the future?

yah, u may not do anything wrong, but the fact tt u bluff mi how i noe u really nv do wrg thing?

u ownself say if change to mi, u will angry lyk hell, then same wad.

i also will ultra angry de k...

pls...

i really dun wan to let history repeat,

u wan to feel the pain once again mehz?

or u dun bother le cuz now u noe how to protect urself?


----------------------------

i decided to let it pass, on the account of u and our memories, and the pain tt i hate .

damn not worth it.

but u seriously got to learn tt keeping quiet or telling a white lie is not not not acceptable and intolerated.

just change our scenario into u being mi and mi being u i tink i kenna scolded lyk fuck already, not to mention getting thrown out by u maybe. rite?


dun keep everything and just orh orh orh. pls communicate with mi. WE need it.

i still cherish u alot.

yah, really.


-----------------------

u promised. pls keep it.

:)

everything is alrite already tentatively...

haiz, becuz he always cannot express himself, i always cannot get an answer...

its all my fault haiz, who ask mi to fall for u?

not tt i am regreting, i'll not regret. jus tt sometimes u really make mi so so so dishearten...

haiz...

问世间情为何物。。。

------------------

slight fever for a few days, sian...

will upload the photos soon...

:)

mi and baby's first trip to bankok!!

:)

u promised to change, maybe u did, but for juz a few days.

why is it tt ur attention span is lyk so so short?

why is is tt u can always forgot things tt i said. or u said..??

why??

i dun worth the effort???

why ??

i am so freaking upset.


why i am sick at home but u can go patronise other ppl?
why ?
is it not worth spending the time with mi?


enlighten mi man, i really really dun understand...


i really said u treat ur frenz better then ur gf, lyk they are ur girlfren but i am ur fren.

BUT U ARE THE WAN TT SAY NO.

BUT WHY IS IT TT IT IS EVERYTIME LYK TT?

y ppl say ai yah, awhile only awhile only then u will say yes?

y i say awhile only then u say dun wan ?

y u always feel tt u muz patronise others but not mi.

In fact i am not even asking alot of u. i am serious. i already dun care alot of things liao.

y u muz still be lyk tt???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/

u promised to change.

u promise to treat mi better.

thanks for everything.

i feel loved.

back in singapore

hee, back in singapore.

days of shopping bargaining= exhaustion.

so so so tired.

attending a wedding dinner tml.

i need some rest.


suddenly heard something and then it suddenly hit mi.
u will nv noe who stabbed u in the back.
trust is just bullshit.

nvm, after my job-hunting end, two can play the game.

1 can become 2 and then become 5 then 10 then 20 then 100.

u can nv noe who changed the number in the middle.

but 1 thing is the same.

MONEY is the culprit.

u can always buy ppls' trust with money.

welcome to the real world.

xoxo,
this is reality speaking

!!!!!!!!!!!!

utterly, uber, crazily, freakingly sad, dissapointed and wadsoever....

a waste of my time

-.-


lol, woke up early to go to ICA today to change my passport photo.


stupid mi, not well informed enough larz, now cannot change photo liao lar, wan change muz change the whole passport lorz. lol. $70 bucks for 5 yrs. and i hav lyk 1 and a half yrs to spare lor.


queue up for hrs jus to tok to the officer in change then in the end, she say u can try lorz, no need change larz, cuz obviously tt guy tt say i need to change passport just wans to get money only. corrupted officer wad the hell. so yah, wasted a few hrs for nothing. damn it.


then head to far east to shop ard cuz mei mei is late larz. saw a satin pants tt i lyk but $39 leh, lyk not worth the money leh. but then still its very comfy leh, shit man how??? nvm, tink tink first. haha


met mei at wheelock place. why? cuz nokia phone sucks. spoilt for the-dunno-how-many times liao. sian. cant they just change a whole new phone. real piece of sh*t leh. i tink she really got utillise the warranty card well lorz, haha. every few week one trip to nokia. haha


mei wants to buy dress, belt, top and bling bling sandals. haha. only manage to buy her dress, belt and bling sandals. damn cheap larz the sandals, i was so so so tempted too. cuz i wanted one long ago. but tt design was worth the price larz. haha, $15.90 but well, hmm, i muz ren!! going thailand le, dun keep spending first. lol. go BKK then spend. yeah!


ate at pasta mania, and guess wad we walked all the way to cine to eat cuz mei mei crave for pasta. then guess wad, far east and shaw already hav pasta mania lorz. WTF??? how come i dunno ?? walk for nothing.


yeah yeah !!


so excited. going on a trip with darling baby and frenz.


*prancing and twirling ard darling's room in utmost excitedness!!!!!!!


lalalalalalaaa..............


:)

movieeee

haha, watched "knowing"

i tink its quite nice. hmm, abit religion, hollywood-kind-end-of-the-world plus alien involvement movie, lol.

the numbers scribbled on a piece of paper was to predict date of events , GPS position of the places, how many died. how eerie can it be if u found the piece of paper and then search online, only to find tt every date coincidences with every major disaster tt happened. and the thing is, the paper was written by a sch elementary sch girl 50 yrs ago. wad the???!!??!!???


received a call early in the morning, and so coincidentally i couldnt slp much in the morning, woke up damn early though i slpt only at 7am. haha maybe was meant to receive the call. lol.
hope to get shortlisted quickly and then i can work once i come back from BKK. yeah!

continued the episodes of gossip girl, i jus love it man. blair is sucha an intriguing lady. and chuck, wad can i say, he is not lyk wad he portrays himself, he is a good guy, but u jus cant hav a relationship with him jus lyk tt. its so so torturous for both blair and chuck. hah! the wrath of the upper east side. devilish...

:):)

happy 2 yrs 3 months darling!!! so happy to be together with u from 070207 till now. :)
can u hear mi? muacks!

sweet

oh yah, forget to update.

darling got my t700 for mi last week!!! yeah!!!

so happy :), but i actually wanted a second-hand de cuz if condition nice then also not much of a difference. but darling told mi to just take the new wan. hee...

THANKS darling!!!!

i lyk t700 cuz its pink, slim and plano... hmm, suddenly dun lyk flip phone, slide phone wadever phone liao, dunno why also...

ying ying say not nice to use, but okie larz, i nimble marz, lol, hee no larz.

an average phone for my average use lorz hee...

****************

ps: i noe its not lyk he bought mi an ultra expensive gift larz cuz obviously my darling dun print money de lorz, but still cuz is darling give de so its super valuable to mi so its gonna be raved in my blog heehee...


i love u baby, not becuz of the gift but becuz of the thought tt comes with it. its always the thought tt counts. :)

relax @ melody valley

wanted to go out today but scare darling unhappy again . yap. so not heading to fly today.


initiately wanted to eat with darling when he finish work but then uncle bought my share le, haiz, so jus eat at home lorz.. then darling called to ask if i eat already. cannot say no wad, so say yah eat some, then darling replied " so no need to pei u eat le horz, then i go find ah boon arh.."


haiz, why why why. why wan to go out with u also so difficult. but then nvm, since not going out le and darling is out so went down melody to join lynn. planned to go fly today de yea but becuz i love darling too much to make him angry so haiz, give up going fly. jus sit there relax , drink and tok. and today again i am faster in preparing, even i surprise myself, haha! *winks* we hav so much in common lol. the only difference is the way i treat darling. lynn said " aiyoh, why u soo committed? he also always go out drink with frenz why u cannot."


haiz, obvious rite, when u love someone wholeheartedly then u will choose to commit marz. if u jus play play not-tink-about-the-future kind then of cuz dun need to commit larz. hee, one day u will understand de. haha and by tt time i will throw back this question at u . heehee... :)


but wad i lyk about lynn is she wouldnt push mi to do anything. she respects my decision and understands tt there are some things tt i cannot cross the line cuz of my principles and of cuz darling bf. she will jus jokingly say say nia. :) great fren and company to be with.


tok a few photos during drinking, shall upload them tml. i am so lazy now..

okie here, 2 enough, lol...

post afew resumes before slping, muz wait for hair to dry. haha...


haiz, job job come find mi, haha, lol, lyk real!!!




-------gd nite---------

tis true

read audrey blog today and a short stanza caught my eye,

" Never dilute your emotions or chuck your pain.
It would only make you crave for more affection at the end of the day.
A never-ending cycle."

well, tts true ...

cuz then u will need to fill up the empty space tt u chucked or diluted away to feel full again.

in the end, its worse as u need more.

but who doesnt make this mistake?

we always tend to do away with unhappy emotions and feelings so tt even if we are bleeding inside, ppl will only see the facade of an ever smiling face. and again, that cycle is never gonna end unless we realize wad it is doing to us, to mi. which is darn hard. there are alot of things in this world tt we jus dun wan to face up to. we deny it, the realities of life. cuz once we admit tt they are there, we cant run from it anymore. we cant delete it, we cant chuck it away, we cant pretend tt they are not there.

but slowly , i will learn.

------------------------------------------------

on a lighter note, i figured out how it works. well, it has been a long long eons time since i last played a game lyk tt. and if u wan to play, im on it. the baseline is all the same, but u are not gonna get wad u are after.

every creature is after the same thing after all. pathetic.

------------------------------------------------

darling, i miss u.

i noe u are working.

and later u will be going out to find ah boon and co.

but are u going to sabai again with terry?

if so i will only see u late into the nite/morning haha.

i wanna hug u rite now!

great show

haha, i am so so so into Hell's Kitchen rite now.

its lyk god damn great, its exciting and boils up ur blood man! haha...
all of u guys shd watch it.
go to youtube and search for hell's kitchen, starting from season 1. :)

u'll love it!

getting so easily tired nowadays. shit. wad is wrg with mi?

i lyk this song today

猜不透
你最近时好时坏的沉默
我也不想去追问太多
让试探为彼此的心上了锁

猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸是真的是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱
是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔
是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸是真的是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱
是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔
是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

如果忽远忽近的洒脱
是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔
是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已不想追究
越是在乎的人越是猜不透

interesting huh?
why is reality always lyk tt?
anyways, jus hope tt alls well will end well.

i hate it when u are mad at mi and u take of tt ring of urs.
then a day or 2 then put back.
actually come to tink of tt, i really dunno wad the ring stands for in ur mind. yap.
i hope its wad we r .

well....

outing with the girls

went shopping/walking ard far east plaza and i saw this dress!! so kawaii nei! but then i dun tink the price is justifiable cuz its lyk a simple little dress only but it cost $69 bucks lehz, no brand de.. haha... and the wallpaper is so so so so so pretty! haha, i lyk, so tok a pic with the wall lol. hee :)

-------------------------------------

haha, met up with huiwen, lynn, and shan shan at sabai sabai again yeap. cuz hui wen wants to go there.. mi, lynn and shan shan were all out for fly but nvm. hee

had so much fun with them haha. hui wen wans to be shu nv all the way lol. then when we laugh too loud we will say, hey, yi tai yi tai, muz bao chi xin xiang. lol

took photos with lynn too but i dunno at which part of my pictures liao lol.

chaned venue to fly ard 3 plus. yeah. cool to be in there again. was in front of the stage when lynn pulled mi along to the side of the stage, the small sofa there. lol and guess who i saw? YING YING! haha... lol second time i say her in fly. haha..

stupid, someone keep asking mi to drink, after martell change to heniken. heng nv vomit in fly. lol phey! if not i tink lao gong darling will ban mi going out with my frenz le.

i noe i reach home quite late but i am not out often rite? why do u hav to give mi the cold treatment lyk last time i go out also u lyk tt. its not lyk i go out find guys. i love u, and only u. but u are seldom home, i noe u hav to work late, then hav to pei frenz, u wan to relax and i am cooping up at home waiting for u, although i am in the midst of surfing net for jobs, playing games, watching tv, i still still still miss u so damn much. and when u are home, u are too too tired pei mi, tok to mi or anything. i tried telling u but it seems tt time spent with ur frenz were more worthy to u. so i tried reconnecting with my frenz, going out clubbing once in a while when u were out drinking with ur buddies too. am i wrg?

i just dun wan to keep feeling tt i am here waiting as always.

i am sorry i kept u worried, maybe or maybe u were not but jus angry. however, i swear i dun even dare to drink much with u or jie or kor kor not ard. u can ask lynn if u wan. she sees to every glass i drink. and keep saying i drink so little. haha but she nv push mi larz, cuz she understands tt i cannot afford to bear the consequences of over drinking, i dun wan to lose ur trust and lose u. i go out with them not to drink, i just want to go out relax, tok, and enjoy my frenz de companionship.

u wan to go out and i muz understand tt u MUZ go out with ur buddies, u cannot bring mi go cuz there all guys nia, u find bringing mi funny, u seldom bring mi go out drinking liao but tts all okie cuz i already accustom to u saying all this but why cant u understand t i hav to go out not as often as u but juz sometimes to relax in the company of my frenz too.. u were the wan when i ask how come u cannot bring mi go out and u replied tt i could go out if i wan, dun need u to bring mi. if tt is the cause why are u treating mi lyk tt.

i am not her, if u are tinking tt i am becoming more and more lyk her, i rmb u saying tt i lyk keep wanting to go out clubbing. NO! i only go once a week or once a fortnight, of cux depending on whether my frenz got off or not. if they work straight weeks then we will not be meeting. hui wen's husband also dun allow her to always go out or if he has morning shifts. so its not tt frequent. i will not be lyk her ever. most importantly, i dun *****. if not i would hav left u long ago. listen to ur heart closely and u will surely noe its true.

can u give mi more attention, pls? or should i jus choose to hack care and let time decide?