no title; i dunno wad title to put lol

anyways, life's fine for mi.

work, slp, work, shop, work, time with darling, slp, then the cycle goes on. no life... lol

haiz, kinda misses my sch days. till now then i realize schooling is lyk so much fun.
i miss sch, i miss lectures, i miss the gossips, the time tt we actually count how much lectures we can miss, how we skip lectures in the middle of the lecture itself( laugh out loud). how we still stayed in sch but in the library larz, looking for exam papers to photostate then try to piece out model answers cuz the questions for exams although is always changing but theres kinda pattern that we can detect and follow. lol smart eh?
i miss critisizing CSPY for MST2 and the super joke tt she was kenna poon-ed by kenneth's mum, totally can laugh and roll on the floor. i miss CY's lesson also, so fun and laughable. plus u only hav to open ur mouth and ask and he will sure find the answer for u and teach u until u really understand. He took the whole evening plus morning to teach mi and cheryl mainly 1 important question and some other random qestions on the past years' paper before the paper itself. serious damn gd larz, cuz he dun need to actually. cuz already stop lecture le for exam week.
but the wan tt i miss most is my IAP. i seriously love working in AVA-VPHL( sorry i funno whether the abrevation is correct not cuz it very long time ago liao) anyway, its some laboratories larz, doing microbiological, toxicology, pestcide, genetic, food quality and authentication, chemical testings and etc. but then also because of this there are some foodies i dun dare to eat already lol... ewww... haha

i miss so much stuffs tt i actually MISS HAVING EXAMINATIONS!!! i used to hate having exam and was ever so cursing who-the-hell actually tot of this stupidest ( i noe there is no such word but just let mi express myself in the way i lyk) of the stupidest idea of all.

i tink i muz hav too much things to miss till out of control le..

yawns... gonna go slp... mei is flying off to aussie in a few hrs. hav a gd trip... she is going to dreamworld there and guess wad?? her team got free ticlets to singapore dreamworld too!!!! haha, so fab rite, but its cuz they need to write comparision reports to hand in in sch. but stil its fab lorz... its not lyk the usual go-science-centre-and-go-home-write-report-for-summition thingy lehz, i also wan lorz... haha... wait long long...

HAHA randomness

few things on my mind these past few weeks:

some ppl are jus so god damn pseudo. haha

i jus dun understand why some adults, bigger than mi by a lot, can be so so so childish. gosh.

becareful, nv let ur guard down against anyone around u. cuz u wun know how u die later.

ppl tt can hurt u most is the ppl tt u are closest to at heart, cuz they noe everything. rmb how jiang tze ya died? pitiful man, he was innocent, he died wronged, disappointed, jus becuz he trusted someone wrongly.

when u tink everything has subsided, u can heave a sigh of relief, look carefully, cuz the trauma has jus began. for still waters always comes before a storm.

when u did something wrong, there is no way to hide the truth. the more u try to cover, the more marks u leave behind.

friends are not always tt trusty. becuz of the word 'fren' u are blinded from the naked truth. sometimes wad u dunno can kill u eventually.

knowing something later only leads to bigger trouble.

so in fact, actually everyone speaks with two mouth.

lots more but i am too lazy to write...

ponder on these guys. haha

back in action

hee, so long nv update le...

my blog's not dead yet, truck loads of photos but then i really dun hav the time to upload them.

been so so so busy with work, and so so so tired tt i keep feeling i haven slpt enough.


had a great spa experience in between work and it feels damn great. pampering and relaxing. :)

lots of thngs tt i would lyk to do but haiz, god pls give mi more time!!!!!!!!!!!!!


haha..

XOXO,

charylle

there there, my life is lyk a cycle...

read elaine yuki's blog and a sentence caught my attention.

"Would u rather go back to the person tt u love most but treated u badly, or go towards the person tt u dun love but treasure u and treat u very well?

if u are the person choosing, which wan will u take?

most girls actually will prefer somewan who treats us well rite, but too bad it isnt the person whom we love most, usually...

so being emotional creatures, we will end up choosing the person tt we love most, but unfortunately, hurts the most too.

my definition of hurt is when the person u love doesnt treasure u, doesnt pay attention to u. hurt can only be inflicted by the person u love. how others treat u doesnt matter cuz it doesnt matter at all.

pardon mi for my ramblings, my head is spinning.



i just dun understand why u can or tink tt u hav the luxury of giving mi attitude when i head out to chill with my girl frenz? when unjustifiably i seem to cannot hav any anger, or attitude or feel down when u say u are heading out to chill with ur bros..

talk about having double standards. men and their egos.

but did u ask y i went to fly after bq? No. i went there cuz my gf wans us to accompany her to find her bf, now ex bf cuz she was going there to brk up. yes. ask around. it should be easy to verify cuz they were shouting and quarreling plus pushing ard on the road! u ask mi to leave her there mehz? ur bro got anything u also will scare and stay rite? same wad. and we were there lyk less than an hr?

i am so so so tired..........

but i noe u love mi, so u lyk tt, but then still dun lyk tt can, i also will sad wad rite?
i nv go out alot marz, once a week or once a fortnight...


OH YAH, BUT THE WAY, I SAID BEFORE LE, PLS IF U WAN TO LEAVE DOWN ANY COMMENTS, CONSTRUCTIVE OR DESTRUCTIVE I DUN CARE, BUT LEAVE DOWN UR NAME. DUN HIDE BEHIND THE SCREEN NAME PASSERBY, ITS FOR COWARDS. DARE TO SAY DUN DARE TO STAND BY UR WORDS?

and actually, come to tink of tt, the comment did not get the effect u wanted. cuz basically, i dun believe wad u say, based on many facts tt u will not understand which only i noe. or u can try making mi believe...

xoxo,

sher-darling

你 不曾发觉？？？

总是
忍不住寂寞 掉下眼泪
你才会给安慰

担心
短暂的晴天 随时都可能
被阴霾收回

等待
有机会最坏 也最甜美
我乐观却疲惫

因为
太怕失去你 所以连快乐里
都装满伤悲


你 不曾发觉
你总是用右手 牵着我
但是心却跳动 在左边
你和我之间的遥远
永远隔着亲切
爱少的可怜

伸出右手 想陪着你
向前走
感受你爱我的心跳 在左边
那么深深爱你的我
想信 你会了解


总在
埋怨过你的冷漠之后 又急着
说抱歉

仿佛
向疏远的你 乞求一点体贴
都是我不对

结果
有可能最美 也最可悲
我做好了准备

也许
太自由的你 心里面那个家
谁也不能回

你 不曾发觉
你总是用右手 牵着我
但是心却跳动 在左边
你和我之间的遥远
永远隔着亲切
爱少的可怜

伸出右手 想陪着你
向前走
感受你爱我的心跳 在左边
那么深深爱你的我
想信 你会了解

我一直相信
总有一天

你会用左手 牵着我走向明天
未来很遥远 却会实现
心在同一边 就能够听见
你说的那句
我爱你

你 不曾发觉
你总是用右手 牵着我
但是心却跳动 在左边
你和我之间的遥远
永远隔着亲切
爱少的可怜

伸出右手 想陪着你
向前走
感受你爱我的心跳 在左边
那么深深爱你的我
你一定看的见

i miss u

i miss the old u.



i miss the alan tt will ask mi whether i wan to accompany him to go anywhere he is going.



i miss the alan tt constantly showed me with care and concern.



i miss the alan tt will consider my feelings and turn down invitations to gather cuz we haven spent time together.



i miss the alan tt will always call mi to say "dunno why suddenly i miss u alot..."



i miss the alan tt will always text me msgs saying he miss mi, asking hows my day.



i miss the alan tt will bring mi to mt faber, jurong hill, kent ridge park to view night sceneries.



i miss the alan tt will take initiative to ask mi wad i am tink, wad i want to do, where i wan to go.



i miss the alan tt will notice tt i am not happy and cheer mi up.



i miss the alan tt will whisper sweet-nothings to mi.



i miss the alan tt makes effort to spent time with mi though he is busy.



i miss the alan tt will tell mi everything.



i miss the alan tt i trust.





where are u now?



where are u when i need u most?



answer this truthfully.



the answer is tt u are always with ur frenz, entertaining ur frens. i noe, the guys always say brothers are forever, gf can always change/throw away.



if so, then tell mi is there difference between brotherly love and gf love?



if none then i suppose guys can marry the brothers and hav babies with their brothers liao rite?



obviously cannot rite?



then the sentence doesnt stand.



u told mi u dun lyk to wear couple ring. u say xue er also bought for u to wear but u only wear a few months.

u say u tink wear already very suay. i ask why u say cuz ur experience and ur frenz' experiences reflect to u tt wear le sooner or later will break.

its not lyk tt de. if u keep keeping quiet and dun speak up to resolve our probs then ur nightmare will come.

cuz quarrel quarrel also will tired wad. true?



tinking on the line, for all my past relationships, i dun endure this kind of nonsense. i wun wei qu myself. its becuz of u, U and YOU tt i keep holding on. i believe talking it all out can solve our prob. but u just dun wan to talk. u just wan to keep mumb. u tink tt toking out will make it bigger and more misunderstanding will happen. i really dunno why u tink lyk tt.



guy lie to girl when girl ask him sth.

cuz guy dun wan girl to misunderstand and be sad.

then girl found out tt guy lied.

then how?



girl more sad rite? and of cuz more angry rite?

then guy explain tt guy dun wan misunderstand cuz its nth much.



in the first place if guy tell the truth the everything will be alrite, jus question abit and angry abit.



lying jus increase the chances of misunderstanding and mistrust.



it jus made the whole thing worse.



understand?



-----------------------------------





every group has little secrets- big ones, small ones, shocking ones.



u will nv noe who lets out the bomb even after u are busted.



cuz the remote often doesnt lies in a person's hand; its in several.





u noe u love mi,



xoxo



------------------------------------------



actually the explanation was very unlogically, as a matter of fact it comes to mi as quick witted though.

in a timeline, it looks lyk a delibrate cover up. u noe ur reputation huh?





------------------------------------------



i hate tt bitch, yes, u. and dun get flattered, cuz the naming of bitch was jus a mere subsitution of word. i dun lyk leaving blanks. u heard mi.



on a second thought, pseudo sounds better huh?



------------------------------------------



tinking of renting a place to stay, cuz this cant go on forever. i dun care wad everybody tinks but u shd noe wad i mean. u are stressed doesnt mean i nv have to take the same thing. if not i wun wan to contemplate having this route.



-----------------------------------------

gosh!

dl the last episode of gg but haven watch it until now.

oh my gosh!

is tt guy in the coffee shop scott- the long lost(tot was dead) son of L and D's father?
i tink it is.

and and and B and C finally got together, how nice!

hmm, couldnt wait for season 3 to come..

:)

tweet tweet tweet...

awsdfgyujkl

why i say so much you still dun get it ?

totally dishearten..

why do u hav to bluff mi?

u tink i would not find out mehz?

u say u dun wan let mi noe cuz dun wan mi sad cuz to u its nothing.

but then to mi its a big big thing.

and now i noe le, how?

more pain rite?

isnt it worse?

why is it tt u still dun understand?

how could i trust u in the future?

yah, u may not do anything wrong, but the fact tt u bluff mi how i noe u really nv do wrg thing?

u ownself say if change to mi, u will angry lyk hell, then same wad.

i also will ultra angry de k...

pls...

i really dun wan to let history repeat,

u wan to feel the pain once again mehz?

or u dun bother le cuz now u noe how to protect urself?


----------------------------

i decided to let it pass, on the account of u and our memories, and the pain tt i hate .

damn not worth it.

but u seriously got to learn tt keeping quiet or telling a white lie is not not not acceptable and intolerated.

just change our scenario into u being mi and mi being u i tink i kenna scolded lyk fuck already, not to mention getting thrown out by u maybe. rite?


dun keep everything and just orh orh orh. pls communicate with mi. WE need it.

i still cherish u alot.

yah, really.


-----------------------

u promised. pls keep it.

:)

everything is alrite already tentatively...

haiz, becuz he always cannot express himself, i always cannot get an answer...

its all my fault haiz, who ask mi to fall for u?

not tt i am regreting, i'll not regret. jus tt sometimes u really make mi so so so dishearten...

haiz...

问世间情为何物。。。

------------------

slight fever for a few days, sian...

will upload the photos soon...

:)

mi and baby's first trip to bankok!!

:)

u promised to change, maybe u did, but for juz a few days.

why is it tt ur attention span is lyk so so short?

why is is tt u can always forgot things tt i said. or u said..??

why??

i dun worth the effort???

why ??

i am so freaking upset.


why i am sick at home but u can go patronise other ppl?
why ?
is it not worth spending the time with mi?


enlighten mi man, i really really dun understand...


i really said u treat ur frenz better then ur gf, lyk they are ur girlfren but i am ur fren.

BUT U ARE THE WAN TT SAY NO.

BUT WHY IS IT TT IT IS EVERYTIME LYK TT?

y ppl say ai yah, awhile only awhile only then u will say yes?

y i say awhile only then u say dun wan ?

y u always feel tt u muz patronise others but not mi.

In fact i am not even asking alot of u. i am serious. i already dun care alot of things liao.

y u muz still be lyk tt???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/

u promised to change.

u promise to treat mi better.

thanks for everything.

i feel loved.

back in singapore

hee, back in singapore.

days of shopping bargaining= exhaustion.

so so so tired.

attending a wedding dinner tml.

i need some rest.


suddenly heard something and then it suddenly hit mi.
u will nv noe who stabbed u in the back.
trust is just bullshit.

nvm, after my job-hunting end, two can play the game.

1 can become 2 and then become 5 then 10 then 20 then 100.

u can nv noe who changed the number in the middle.

but 1 thing is the same.

MONEY is the culprit.

u can always buy ppls' trust with money.

welcome to the real world.

xoxo,
this is reality speaking

!!!!!!!!!!!!

utterly, uber, crazily, freakingly sad, dissapointed and wadsoever....

a waste of my time

-.-


lol, woke up early to go to ICA today to change my passport photo.


stupid mi, not well informed enough larz, now cannot change photo liao lar, wan change muz change the whole passport lorz. lol. $70 bucks for 5 yrs. and i hav lyk 1 and a half yrs to spare lor.


queue up for hrs jus to tok to the officer in change then in the end, she say u can try lorz, no need change larz, cuz obviously tt guy tt say i need to change passport just wans to get money only. corrupted officer wad the hell. so yah, wasted a few hrs for nothing. damn it.


then head to far east to shop ard cuz mei mei is late larz. saw a satin pants tt i lyk but $39 leh, lyk not worth the money leh. but then still its very comfy leh, shit man how??? nvm, tink tink first. haha


met mei at wheelock place. why? cuz nokia phone sucks. spoilt for the-dunno-how-many times liao. sian. cant they just change a whole new phone. real piece of sh*t leh. i tink she really got utillise the warranty card well lorz, haha. every few week one trip to nokia. haha


mei wants to buy dress, belt, top and bling bling sandals. haha. only manage to buy her dress, belt and bling sandals. damn cheap larz the sandals, i was so so so tempted too. cuz i wanted one long ago. but tt design was worth the price larz. haha, $15.90 but well, hmm, i muz ren!! going thailand le, dun keep spending first. lol. go BKK then spend. yeah!


ate at pasta mania, and guess wad we walked all the way to cine to eat cuz mei mei crave for pasta. then guess wad, far east and shaw already hav pasta mania lorz. WTF??? how come i dunno ?? walk for nothing.


yeah yeah !!


so excited. going on a trip with darling baby and frenz.


*prancing and twirling ard darling's room in utmost excitedness!!!!!!!


lalalalalalaaa..............


:)

movieeee

haha, watched "knowing"

i tink its quite nice. hmm, abit religion, hollywood-kind-end-of-the-world plus alien involvement movie, lol.

the numbers scribbled on a piece of paper was to predict date of events , GPS position of the places, how many died. how eerie can it be if u found the piece of paper and then search online, only to find tt every date coincidences with every major disaster tt happened. and the thing is, the paper was written by a sch elementary sch girl 50 yrs ago. wad the???!!??!!???


received a call early in the morning, and so coincidentally i couldnt slp much in the morning, woke up damn early though i slpt only at 7am. haha maybe was meant to receive the call. lol.
hope to get shortlisted quickly and then i can work once i come back from BKK. yeah!

continued the episodes of gossip girl, i jus love it man. blair is sucha an intriguing lady. and chuck, wad can i say, he is not lyk wad he portrays himself, he is a good guy, but u jus cant hav a relationship with him jus lyk tt. its so so torturous for both blair and chuck. hah! the wrath of the upper east side. devilish...

:):)

happy 2 yrs 3 months darling!!! so happy to be together with u from 070207 till now. :)
can u hear mi? muacks!

sweet

oh yah, forget to update.

darling got my t700 for mi last week!!! yeah!!!

so happy :), but i actually wanted a second-hand de cuz if condition nice then also not much of a difference. but darling told mi to just take the new wan. hee...

THANKS darling!!!!

i lyk t700 cuz its pink, slim and plano... hmm, suddenly dun lyk flip phone, slide phone wadever phone liao, dunno why also...

ying ying say not nice to use, but okie larz, i nimble marz, lol, hee no larz.

an average phone for my average use lorz hee...

****************

ps: i noe its not lyk he bought mi an ultra expensive gift larz cuz obviously my darling dun print money de lorz, but still cuz is darling give de so its super valuable to mi so its gonna be raved in my blog heehee...


i love u baby, not becuz of the gift but becuz of the thought tt comes with it. its always the thought tt counts. :)

relax @ melody valley

wanted to go out today but scare darling unhappy again . yap. so not heading to fly today.


initiately wanted to eat with darling when he finish work but then uncle bought my share le, haiz, so jus eat at home lorz.. then darling called to ask if i eat already. cannot say no wad, so say yah eat some, then darling replied " so no need to pei u eat le horz, then i go find ah boon arh.."


haiz, why why why. why wan to go out with u also so difficult. but then nvm, since not going out le and darling is out so went down melody to join lynn. planned to go fly today de yea but becuz i love darling too much to make him angry so haiz, give up going fly. jus sit there relax , drink and tok. and today again i am faster in preparing, even i surprise myself, haha! *winks* we hav so much in common lol. the only difference is the way i treat darling. lynn said " aiyoh, why u soo committed? he also always go out drink with frenz why u cannot."


haiz, obvious rite, when u love someone wholeheartedly then u will choose to commit marz. if u jus play play not-tink-about-the-future kind then of cuz dun need to commit larz. hee, one day u will understand de. haha and by tt time i will throw back this question at u . heehee... :)


but wad i lyk about lynn is she wouldnt push mi to do anything. she respects my decision and understands tt there are some things tt i cannot cross the line cuz of my principles and of cuz darling bf. she will jus jokingly say say nia. :) great fren and company to be with.


tok a few photos during drinking, shall upload them tml. i am so lazy now..

okie here, 2 enough, lol...

post afew resumes before slping, muz wait for hair to dry. haha...


haiz, job job come find mi, haha, lol, lyk real!!!




-------gd nite---------

tis true

read audrey blog today and a short stanza caught my eye,

" Never dilute your emotions or chuck your pain.
It would only make you crave for more affection at the end of the day.
A never-ending cycle."

well, tts true ...

cuz then u will need to fill up the empty space tt u chucked or diluted away to feel full again.

in the end, its worse as u need more.

but who doesnt make this mistake?

we always tend to do away with unhappy emotions and feelings so tt even if we are bleeding inside, ppl will only see the facade of an ever smiling face. and again, that cycle is never gonna end unless we realize wad it is doing to us, to mi. which is darn hard. there are alot of things in this world tt we jus dun wan to face up to. we deny it, the realities of life. cuz once we admit tt they are there, we cant run from it anymore. we cant delete it, we cant chuck it away, we cant pretend tt they are not there.

but slowly , i will learn.

------------------------------------------------

on a lighter note, i figured out how it works. well, it has been a long long eons time since i last played a game lyk tt. and if u wan to play, im on it. the baseline is all the same, but u are not gonna get wad u are after.

every creature is after the same thing after all. pathetic.

------------------------------------------------

darling, i miss u.

i noe u are working.

and later u will be going out to find ah boon and co.

but are u going to sabai again with terry?

if so i will only see u late into the nite/morning haha.

i wanna hug u rite now!

great show

haha, i am so so so into Hell's Kitchen rite now.

its lyk god damn great, its exciting and boils up ur blood man! haha...
all of u guys shd watch it.
go to youtube and search for hell's kitchen, starting from season 1. :)

u'll love it!

getting so easily tired nowadays. shit. wad is wrg with mi?

i lyk this song today

猜不透
你最近时好时坏的沉默
我也不想去追问太多
让试探为彼此的心上了锁

猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸是真的是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱
是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔
是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸是真的是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱
是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔
是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

如果忽远忽近的洒脱
是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔
是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已不想追究
越是在乎的人越是猜不透

interesting huh?
why is reality always lyk tt?
anyways, jus hope tt alls well will end well.

i hate it when u are mad at mi and u take of tt ring of urs.
then a day or 2 then put back.
actually come to tink of tt, i really dunno wad the ring stands for in ur mind. yap.
i hope its wad we r .

well....

outing with the girls

went shopping/walking ard far east plaza and i saw this dress!! so kawaii nei! but then i dun tink the price is justifiable cuz its lyk a simple little dress only but it cost $69 bucks lehz, no brand de.. haha... and the wallpaper is so so so so so pretty! haha, i lyk, so tok a pic with the wall lol. hee :)

-------------------------------------

haha, met up with huiwen, lynn, and shan shan at sabai sabai again yeap. cuz hui wen wants to go there.. mi, lynn and shan shan were all out for fly but nvm. hee

had so much fun with them haha. hui wen wans to be shu nv all the way lol. then when we laugh too loud we will say, hey, yi tai yi tai, muz bao chi xin xiang. lol

took photos with lynn too but i dunno at which part of my pictures liao lol.

chaned venue to fly ard 3 plus. yeah. cool to be in there again. was in front of the stage when lynn pulled mi along to the side of the stage, the small sofa there. lol and guess who i saw? YING YING! haha... lol second time i say her in fly. haha..

stupid, someone keep asking mi to drink, after martell change to heniken. heng nv vomit in fly. lol phey! if not i tink lao gong darling will ban mi going out with my frenz le.

i noe i reach home quite late but i am not out often rite? why do u hav to give mi the cold treatment lyk last time i go out also u lyk tt. its not lyk i go out find guys. i love u, and only u. but u are seldom home, i noe u hav to work late, then hav to pei frenz, u wan to relax and i am cooping up at home waiting for u, although i am in the midst of surfing net for jobs, playing games, watching tv, i still still still miss u so damn much. and when u are home, u are too too tired pei mi, tok to mi or anything. i tried telling u but it seems tt time spent with ur frenz were more worthy to u. so i tried reconnecting with my frenz, going out clubbing once in a while when u were out drinking with ur buddies too. am i wrg?

i just dun wan to keep feeling tt i am here waiting as always.

i am sorry i kept u worried, maybe or maybe u were not but jus angry. however, i swear i dun even dare to drink much with u or jie or kor kor not ard. u can ask lynn if u wan. she sees to every glass i drink. and keep saying i drink so little. haha but she nv push mi larz, cuz she understands tt i cannot afford to bear the consequences of over drinking, i dun wan to lose ur trust and lose u. i go out with them not to drink, i just want to go out relax, tok, and enjoy my frenz de companionship.

u wan to go out and i muz understand tt u MUZ go out with ur buddies, u cannot bring mi go cuz there all guys nia, u find bringing mi funny, u seldom bring mi go out drinking liao but tts all okie cuz i already accustom to u saying all this but why cant u understand t i hav to go out not as often as u but juz sometimes to relax in the company of my frenz too.. u were the wan when i ask how come u cannot bring mi go out and u replied tt i could go out if i wan, dun need u to bring mi. if tt is the cause why are u treating mi lyk tt.

i am not her, if u are tinking tt i am becoming more and more lyk her, i rmb u saying tt i lyk keep wanting to go out clubbing. NO! i only go once a week or once a fortnight, of cux depending on whether my frenz got off or not. if they work straight weeks then we will not be meeting. hui wen's husband also dun allow her to always go out or if he has morning shifts. so its not tt frequent. i will not be lyk her ever. most importantly, i dun *****. if not i would hav left u long ago. listen to ur heart closely and u will surely noe its true.

can u give mi more attention, pls? or should i jus choose to hack care and let time decide?

asdfghjkl

oh my god... wrote a long long post but then blogger cannot post larz..
wad the hell. sian ..
now no mood to write down tue de events liao ..
sian .

but melody is nice. will go again with lynn when free.. :)

haiz... sianing at home...

y are u always out of reach, k not out of reach le, but where are when i wan u ... boo...

sayang mi, dotes mi, love mi, spent time to understand mi, pei mi and make mi feel lyk ur everything...

（ 我 ）最幸福的事

我好喜欢的一首歌。。。


你乘着雨伞 接我那次
已经足够我 记得一辈子
我懂后来你 不是不坚持
爱情本来就 没万无一失

泪水离开了 你的手指
那不如让它 留在这信纸
我想女孩子 最贴心的事
让爱的人选 结束的方式

我最幸福的事 当过你的天使
乘鼻酸能掩饰 让我们像当时拥抱最后一次
最幸福的事 吹蜡烛时你终为我许愿的手势
为挚爱的人 在左边心口保留位置
是最幸福的事

可惜爱不是 童话故事
不能够永远 依赖着王子
这难过情事 只剩两个字
我拯能任性 为难你解释

我最幸福的事 当过你的天使
乘鼻酸能掩饰 让我们像当时拥抱最后一次
最幸福的事 吹蜡烛时你终为我许愿的手势
为挚爱的人 在左边心口保留位置
是最幸福的事

那一阵子有你 美得不像现实
多高兴 每一幕 都微笑着停制

我最幸福的事 牵着你的日子
一段爱从开始 只是分开我们都对彼此诚实
最幸福的事 面那片海用力大喊永远的样子
想得起那时 那天和你傻笑着认识
是最幸福的事


-----------


我还记得 那时是如何和你傻笑着认识
你接我回家 笑着猜我住在那一层楼
我还说如果你猜不出 就不和你再见面了
看着你那心急的表情 我偷笑着

放学了 到你的店找你 等你打烊后一起去吃晚餐
考试的时侯 没时间见面 你却答应我等一切结束了会带我到处玩
夜游浪漫的景点 感觉世界只有我们两个人 是我最美丽 最想重温的回忆


我最幸福的事 当那爱着你的天使
最幸福的事 是牵着你的日子 看着你入睡的样子


遇到不开心的事 鼻酸却总是不能掩饰
只想抱着你放纵的哭泣
不明白的事 想问个清楚 你却说我任性 为难你解释


为挚爱的人 在左边心口保留位置
是最幸福的事 也是我的一份坚持

可惜你好像完全不知道的样子

或许这就是你表达爱的方式
还是因为以前的付出换来的是背叛 所以你已经不再那么拼命了。


我在等着 。。。



WHEN PASSION AND PASSIVE COMES TOGETHER? WAD ARE THE ODDS?

不值得

除了想你 除了爱你
hu ~ 我什么什么都愿意
翻开日记 整理心情
hu ~ 我真的真的想放弃
你始终没有爱过
你在敷衍我
一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不从心
无力继续
这感情 不值得我犹豫
不值得我考虑
不值得我爱过你
这种回忆 不值得我提起
不值得想起
不值得哭泣
ha~这段感情 早就应该放弃
早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹
这样的你 不值得我恨你
不值得我为你坏了心情
ha~我决定不为你而毁了心
放弃爱你

除了想你 除了爱你
hu ~ 我什么什么都愿意
翻开日记 打开心情
hu ~ 我真的真的想放弃
你始终没有爱过
你在敷衍我
一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不从心
无力继续
这感情 不值得我犹豫
不值得我考虑
不值得我爱过你
这种回忆 不值得我提起
不值得想起
不值得哭泣
ha~这段感情 早就应该放弃
早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹
这样的你 不值得我恨你
不值得我为你而坏了心情
ha~我决定不为你而毁了心
不为你而放弃爱情
不为你而毁了心
ha~ha~我决定不为你而毁了心

放弃爱你

clubbing

haha, went sabai to meet lynn and co cuz lynn says she had balance there. drink finish then go fly .. lol took so so so long to decide where to go. initially is keong saik street there first then fly de. haha

so yah, everyone was in taxi liao on the way haha i still dilly dally abit, change into my LBD then walk slowly to 7 eleven for a packet of mints( if i go clubbing with my frenz without darling, mints are my best fren lol) then flag for cab and off to shenton.

and guess wad guess wad? lol. I AM THE FIRST TO REACH LEH! haha... :)

lynn started to down martell once we reach haha, i cannot larz, she veteran liao lehz, mi i drink slowly de... was tinking "shit forget to eat fried food." ,and darling seldom allow mi to come out so just drink enough for mi to loosen my joints and dance, not too high haha.

told lynn tt and she say its okie.. well, i tried to drink as much liao, but well, ate very early and digested le larz before drinking so i dun dare to mess up my chances of going out again. hee.

met hui wen, shanshan and her frenz and erm still got who ar, pai seh forget liao. anyway, enjoyed myself very much haha. meet up soon yeah?

poor girl, keep telling me she tired, all the way at sabai, cuz not her home ground. then at fly dance all the way, then last dance tell mi again she tired and repeated all the way we go chinatown eat and till in cab. lol. working marz, bo bian de larz, physically and mentally stressed tts why tired... take care of urself k? :)

yah yah, i was abit pissed off by a uncle-looking uncle okie larz, wadever cuz he really look uncle, we dance dance then suddely wan to squeeze with us and dance. somemore face us. and the dance floor not tt crowded until muz squesze till lyk tt lorz. super irritating. then i tink lynn also BTH and tell her bf then i tink if i nv hear wrg, got someone warn him about doing this kind of stupid action liao. lol. then awhile then i nv see him liao .yeah. haha. dun spoil my nite wahaha...

oh yah, saw jason at fly, yah, told alicia :) and guess wad, i met someone larz, tink very long then contact everything together and then i was lyk "omg!" haha, then i tink i tink i must hav met him before lol. but if its true then tts very uber long liao to rmb or tt is the wrg person. anyway, nvm larz. haha just tink tt the world really so small..

seetin and edna fly le, hav a nice and safe trip...!!

my god gd nite i wan go slp liao...

my darling long ago jiu doze off liao.

and and and once again,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEILING AND LILIAN!!!!!!!!!!

:)

WITH WARMEST WISHES!

:)

so many

darling, there's so many things i want to tell u... but do u hav the time?

haha... tt busy bao beii... haiz...

at least when i finally voiced out tt i want him to pei mi after work, he did.
happy and appreciated. i noe he cannot afford to have off so soon cuz business is still very new, so after work is all i settled for.

went to loyang to pray on tuesday, ate and came back home. then i noe darling was abit sick. but he nv tell mi. hmmph... baby u shouldnt lyk tt u noe. driving while u r sick very dangerous lehz. still dare tell me no strength to drive liao. haiiz...

darling came home early after work ytd hee... cooked and ate together. happy. cuz darling will be going ah jun's chalet after work today. cannot pei mi. :( home only in the morning. change bath and then go work again. lol.

nvm, i going party also. darling gave his permission.. once in a while marz... hee.. still waiting for my dear fren to make up lol. haha, finally somewan slower then mi... hee

eating eating hee....

laugh out loud

???????????????

today i was on train on my way out when suddenly reach je station liao then a guy walk over to mi while i wanna go out of the train. i tot he wan to ask for direction sia.
wad the hell in the end is he ask "can be friends with u?"
i tink i very rude larz at tt instant, but dun care larz anyway, ask this kind of stupid question, so i just stared and mouthed a "N-O-!" and then faster walk off.
haha, tink already wanna laugh also hao hao xiao orh...

after finishing my stuff got a free short ride to yew tee haha, so went to surprise darling at his shop! :) then darling stupidly ask mi," Why u here?" just replied i nearby lorz. actually very near marz, so if he not there then i jus take mrt home lorz. if he there then wait for him lorz. hee

then darz sent mi home while he go find ah boon and gang again. haiz... if there is no ethyl alcohol in this world the wad will they do to relax? hmm...

darling, sayang mi!

...

went to illusion for anson's bdae celebration ytd.
haha... the guys all drink till gone le larz..

darling was busy so till 12 plus then reach.
hah by the tink we already cut cake lorz...

then in the middle dunno how come suddenly they were all pulling darling to dance on the pool table LOL..
HENG darling run away haha... :)

ask darling about tt aft the drinking and darling say they all say if he willing to pei ah boon dance then they all drink finish 2 big mug of beer each. then darling turn the table ard say they dance and he will drink 3 mugs. lol. lyk tt also can arhz?
haha

darling i miss u 24/7 lehz... hmph!

i am so confused now.

i want to return to last time once in awhile.

:(

wad i want

i just want to be happy.

is it wrg to want to be happy?

but no wan really understands.



i dun wan to go back cuz i dun wan to quarrel.

every little thing will lead to a quarrel.

i grow up quarreling, shouting, screaming and crying.

there were canes there but becuz sis and mi hid them so they dun exist anymore. then every household equipment becomes tt damn cane. not to mention the pulling of hair or ear till i can practically hang by the ear or hair. serious. its damn damn pain.



i was suicidal before, when i was young. however, the thought still keep coming back when i am sad. but i nv told darling before. how to tell? theres no way letting him noe man. he hated girls who threaten with suicide so if i tell him( if i really wan to tell, it will only be at my saddest point) i tink he will assume i wan to threaten him with my life.

i started with self inflicted pain first when i was small. i knock my head onto my bedroom wall, bite myself but mostly i bang my head against the wall cuz the wounds cannot be seen by anyone. just felt by myself.

although i am very scare of pain, at tt point of time, the pain is wad makes mi feel alive, the feeling tt i am still here. scarily, the dwelling pain feels so good tt moment. but at least now i can tink of reasons lyk if i am dead then blah blah blah, tt keeps mi off the knifes, windows and everything.

however, most likely i will opt for things closer to euthanisia. haha. no pain. not ugly. lol. but before the reasons come to mi, i usually draw morbid stuffs when i am sad. things close to death, cutting, dying, falling, blood dripping, blood red wine pouring, broken stained wine glass... the list goes on. some of the pieces are here and there, others i i just draw, appreciate, reason with myself and throw away. at least, this keeps mi away from dangerous thoughts.


actually, coming to tink of it, i am rather extreme too. i can turn from happy to sad to mad to excited to blank to anger to calm to nice to nasty in jus a few moments. yeap. those who experience it will noe. haha. sorry buddies, well, at least i wasnt faking yeah?


okie, i am digressing. back to my point.


if i were to go back, i will not stay long. i will go out early in the morning and come back late in the night or not at all. just stay out all day. but i dun wan u to keep tinking where i am. okie, maybe u wont noe or care but then i noe u will get angry with mi. so wad for ? but i cant stand not going out while i am there.

last time there is sch as an excuse for mi to be outside almost nearly 24/7. meetings, projs, camps, everything. now theres nothing. so i will be just walking and walking around outside. but compared to quarreling it really is a better choice for mi.


actually i also dunno why i write down all these for wad.
but i just feel lyk pouring everything out. haiz..

i am so tired.

boring stuffs

went to get the stuffs tt i ordered online today. hee really worth the money wahaha...

then headed to lot 1 for some shopping before going yew tee to find darling.
wah, lots of sales lehz. lol. saw lots of stuffs at cotton on. but then having a trip soon so well, ren ren ren ! haha... my blusher gonna finish soon. hmm, tinking of buying borjouris(pai seh arh if spelling wrg lol) de. glittery glittery pink pink de lyk very nice lehz.. haha...

walk ard and saw elaine at kose counter lol. wah, so long nv see u become prettier liao worz.. :)

trained to yew tee and ta bao long john silver for darling to eat. hee. darling's new shop very rectangle lorz.lol. and the auntie damn chatty. the wear specs wan. haha...

wierd and ku ku conversation with her...

" eh, u is who arh? "

"huh? "

" ni shi ta de shui? "

"wo shi ta.. huh ? "

"u his gf arhz? "

"ah, yah, ta de gf lorz. why leh?"

"huh? ni shi ta de gf mehz? tt day come here de is u mehz? "

"huh? "

"huh? tt day got one girl come here not u wad...? u his gf arhz? really arh?"

"yah, i am his gf... ??!!??"

at this point i am totally pissed and blur liao...

then she ask alan who is behind mi, in dialect:

" she is ur gf arhz? "

"yah larz, she is my gf larz, u tink still got hu?"

"huh? tt day come tt wan not ur gf mehz?"

"no larz, tt wan is my customer leh, u say until so shiok then let u say lorz."

then the auntie go do her business liao.

haha, stupid rite?

i am sitting inside the shop, and i buy things for alan to eat, and i call alan not by name but by darling, not clear enough mehz? even if i am a fling or wad larz example only horz, , BUT NOT OKIE LOL, wad i am saying is, where got ppl lyk tt tok wan??? lol wad if ppl quarrel or wad how? then all the misunderstandings will be because of her lorz. lol.
wah, if she toking to those ah beng keep changing flings and girls de how? i tink she dead by tml liao if she tok lyk tt in front of the guy and girl .lol. haha. its the joke of the day...
and her face is of disbelieve cum suspicious , lol, so funny, shit i should hav video it down. lol.

and later i ask darling why tt auntie tok so funny and who is the girl she toking about then darling say its may, the jurong hair saloon there de worker, his customer last time. went to yew tee to buy phone. then very late liao, since alan wan go jurong so ask her wait outside awhile then he fetch her back jurong on the way. lol.

funny rite?

and darling say tt auntie noisy wan. even uncle also cannot win. lol. lyk tt die liao . haha...

home now, darling fetch mi home then go meet ah jun, he wans to change hp, and aka ask darling go drink with him whaha.. once darling say ah jun i noe is cannot leave drinking out de..

haiz. nvm, wait at home, surf net, pack stuffs.

:)

tales of beedle the bard

i am so wanting to get my hands on " the tales of beedle the bard" by J.K. Rowling.

one of the story was featured in the last book of Harry Potter- the deathly hallows.

haiz, buy online? dunno S'pore hav or not. dun rmb popular hav leh? Times? or Kino? or Borders?

search online and found out tt there were those special collection, handwritten and drawn by JK herself. but the price is freakin skyhigh haha, and anyway there's only one out of seven tt is on auction, which is then bought by rep from Amazon.

see:

the moonstone edition

totally gorgeous rite?

haha, harry potter books are so so so addictive. maybe they had spells in them.

and and random:

i lyk this phone lehz. cuz its slim, simple, and pink!

but then ying say not its not user friendly. hmm...

i wan to be myself again

all along, i grow to suit u.
everything i once loved i abandon them for u.
but now, i wan to be myself.
my old self, my likes, my hates and everything.

stupid alarm clock keep ringing till i cannot slp. and darling still can slp larz..
haiz...

darling sayang mi before going to work. but i cant help it.
it rained heavily.
drenched.
eyes stung.
a salty taste.

went to my hairstylist to hav my hair cut. haha. finally i cut my long long hair. okie larz, just change the shape. length not much. and my love!!! - the thick thick fringe :)

Pinky standing while i tok the photo. haha...

after tt, change and meet see tin at jp. haha, ate dinner and walk walk. saw a few nice clothes tt i wanna buy but then going bkk next mth le, later there alot how. lol. but anyway, i tink end up i will still buy de larz, haha...

see tin went to find des so i continued shopping ard. haha, i love walking in fp extra. damn lyk giant larz haha... saw a 42 inch plasma tv from samsung selling at $999. lol is tt really cheap? i dunno larz, obviously i dun buy tv. haha.

darlin came to fetch mi after tt and cuz of the suddenly call i forgot to buy my stuff. lol. nvm.

hmm. i tink i noe wad to make liao. still got time... slowly do.. hee...

darling, comehomecomehomecomehomenownownownowcuzimissucuzimissucuzimissu!!!

W-A-S-T-E!

i guess appreciation love and concern, in front of ur frenz is worth less than nothing.

u said u r busy, working, u would not come home so early cuz u dunno work till wad time.

haha, wad a fool i am to believe in u.

again lyk the last time tt i spend all my time and effort to make a nice meal for u, U ARE OUT THERE DRINKING WITH UR FRENZ.
rmb last time i said i nearly threw the whole pot down the rubbish chute?

just great.

do u hav to drink (relax) every single day?

and tml is mon, meaning u will need to go meet up with them and drink AGAIN.
today cannot finish ur work, which ends quite late le, and come home meh?

i treat u lyk king, and this is wad i get.

i still rmb one of ur buddies said, "wah, if XX treats mi lyk tt jiu hao lorz."

and u took everything for granted.
i guess i should just stop everything. cuz its not worth the price of having to break down and cry nearly everyday.

maybe the girls are rite. i dun hav to do all these things for u. u can pay other ppl outside to do all tt stuff. to treat u as my world will only hasten the crashing down of my entire universe.

i am so tired.

crazy

i tink my subconscious mind is driving mi crazy. and u are not at all helping.

strange dreams tt i cannot explain. i swear tt wasnt even in my line of thoughts. but it jus keep on appearing in my dreams. everything from him to her. jus nice in my most vulnerable state of mind.

trails of thought leading to lots of "what-if "s...

what if its not j?

what if everything starts with y?

will everything be the same?

will the end result be the same?

what if j most prob dun believe in making the effort anymore?

what if everything is habitual?

what if there is no time to change anything?

what if everything is just a pseudo-screen?

what if i dunno u at all?


and there is this vey big thing tt i wan to emphasize to u again cuz am very positive u dun get wad i meant, i.e.

*o** to mi has already lost its meaning very very long time ago. pls dun ask mi tt question again. new wounds rise everytime u ask.

i am very serious.

if someone smiles, it doesnt means he is happy.
u have to understand to noe the truth.
-----------------------------


studio drowning in flames. my feet kept dancing.

the heart is bleeding. i smiled.

XOXO

wad is the price of BETRAYAL in ur heart?

wad is the definition of it in ur heart?

will u still give the other person a second chance if u found out tt he/she betrayed u?

--------------------------------------------

oh! i jus tot of sth, is there couples who stayed together for name's sake but behind the closed doors, they are bedding someone else each? interesting huh dun u tink so? i mean then wads the use of staying together?

oh digression.

I JUST LOVE WATCHING GOSSIP GIRL.

XOXO.

I totally sympathise with Blair. Her mother ignores her, filling the gap with only riches. And Chuck Bass is not what he looked lyk, he is quite a deep character.

okie, fast forward, I HATE RACHEL. behind tt sweet little morally uprite image, she's a total whore! i wonder how Serena will flare if she noes rachel slepted with Dan, once in her house and once in the sch closet. lol. and to tink tt she got Blair kicked out of Yales. yuck! and Serena actually defended Rachel from Blair. Poor Serena. And Dan's a total idiot.



shrewd personality, manipulation, i guess its always present huh?

when social drinking crosses the line

Before the reading commence,

I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IF PPL WHO LEAVE COMMENTS AT MY TAGBOARD WOULD KINDLY PUT THEIR NAMES BESIDE THEIR COMMENTS.

THANK YOU!
this is to prevent unwanted disputes, i.e. what happened in my friends' tagboard leading to a whole lot of shit.
and personally, i hate ppl tagging behind the names of : passer-by, pb, anon, x, ..., and watever shit. if u cared/bothered to leave a comment then i assume u should be able to stand by it yah? if not dun comment.

Disclaimer: any similar names tt i mentioned above if u hav used it before this post, wad i meant is a general statment. but after this post, it would mean YOU. thanks for reading.

------------------------------------------------

There's a really thin line between social drinking and alcohol dependency of some sort.
What most people do think of themselves is that,

" Oh, I'm just a social drinker, occasional drinks with friends thats all."

But how occasional is occasional? Thats a question to be asked.

By definition from the dictionary, occasional means occurring or appearing at irregular or infrequent intervals.

"irregular" or "infrequent" checked. So it appropriately means once in a while rite? Search yourself. Do these words ring a bell in your head? No. I presume. How about "regular" and "frequent" ? Do they click now? Well, the ironies in life.

"Generally, social drinkers use alcohol to relax and increase good feelings. It's easy for them to limit drinking. Many people say they are social drinkers, and yet cannot imagine dinner or a bad day without alcohol. Some of these people are alcoholics."(1)

Do you feel that way?

So, how do we know that we have crossed the line? Whoops...
Well writing it down here, you are crossing the line if you:

-use alcohol to help you get through painful situations or feelings.
-ever defend or hide your drinking; can't remember what happened after drinking a little too much.
-resent other people's advice who want you to drink less; drink alone.
-have problems you've had trouble solving due to your drinking.
-change in tolerance to alcohol. (1)

It is indeed very saddening to know that one of god's divine plans- the natural fermentation process( to bring things back to earth naturally) is economically manipulated by his own proudest creation.

haha, pardon me for my blunderings. And and pls dun come and judge my sentence. i am just playing with words tts all.

and i certainly dun need anywan to tell mi tt my spellings or grammar nor vocabulary is wrg.

Imperfection is also a work of beauty.

ref: (ps i am damn lazy to rewrite)

1. http://www.memorialhospital.org/Library/general/general-SOCIAL.html

nth much

supposed to be very free but dunno why things seem to keep mi damn damn busy. wth.
guess wad am i doing now? i am editing my sis proj work AGAIN lol. yes, while waiting for dear darling to come back from sabai sabai.

went to tiong bahru to shop for my cosmetic basics and bought a new mascara; LashSculpture. the brush is damn fantastic lorz, but i hav yet to establish whether it will smudge on me as the time goes by. cuz for mi even maybelline XXL waterproof smudges on me. wth. i love the comb which is 3 rows instead of 1. separates lyk nobody's business. haha... losted my shiny brown eyeshadow, wonder where the hell it went to.

then gotto rush back to crescent to meet genie, who is passing my my AMPOULES!!

Heard tt Seetin? haha, i'll pass to Alan who will bring it down to raymond's shop tml. love ya.

then dun feel lyk going home so early so i called jie if she wans to come down eat and tok. but she's at illusion, alone. thus mi rush all the way down to illusion to acc her. tok, drink, play.

heading out tml to bugis with her or maybe the nxt day. darling dear wans to find shorts and ask mi to go buy for him. he is seriously in need of shorts. not the baggy bermuda kind, but the nice looking, shuai shuai kind, i dunno how to tell u guys lol. wait and see lorz...

my gosh, darling i see so many nice looking necklaces tt i wan u to wear. hee. ur fav steel with carbon fibre.. :)

to seetin: the ring we saw priced at 159 bucks , three-tiered rose gold de with cubic zirconia is actually a copy of cartier de lol. correct mi if i am wrg. haha.. i saw it on a US webby too. but they only got size 8.5. and a few blvgari rings tt is so so so nice larz...

---------------------------------------------------

for centuries, the word sensitivity is totally not to be found in a man's possession. its lyk they are immune or something. but as the 21st century has already set foot onto our world, are man getting something to it? or do they just act as if they hav absolutely no clue as to wad is going to change? despising changes, they simply made use of the "man are from mars, woman are from venus" theorem as a shield to cover themselves, denying the need to learn the meaning of "sensitive" and its uses???
--------------------------------------------------

the more u wan to hide something, the more the truth will emerge. as scary as it can be. the worser it will ever be.
--------------------------------------------------

sometimes u may be very gd frens with a person. u tell her everything and anything. then one day u found out tt u dun lyk her. then the worse got hold of u and u started spilling secrets of each other??
or
is it possible tt u will tell others things tt will delibrately pull frenz apart from the person, lowering the credibility of the person so tt one day when ur ugliest truth comes out, ppl rather believe u than her.

dun be offended, its just a spur of a moment thingy tt i hav in mind.

sometimes being the top-most of the animal hierachy and the ecological food pyramid, humans can be just as scary yeah? read the papers every day, terrorism, murders, etc. animals kill for survival but we being better than them, the honourable representatives of humanity, we humans kill for fun, for revenge, for the riches, or just for the sake of ending ppls' lives..

wad was tt saying again?

oh yeah, "worse than animal..."

wad do u say ?

Careful! u dun noe wad he/she is tinking

actually from dunno since when, i noe he/she is not a plain character. he/she seems to hav a motive in doing everything. well, let us observe more closely shall we?

scary there, be careful...

i wonder...

tried the ampoule from genie and i feel great after using. ordered 4 boxes together with seetin. :)
but ppl ppl i am afraid its jus the placebo effect. surely not rite? tell mi the ampoules do work.. hee..

well, cuz i had tt during the time when i changed my facial foam. the galenic foam wash to the himalayans neem facial wash. eww... and i tot the money was well saved. end up its jus mi and my mind. nah. dun tok about tt anymore.

so anyways, seetin and edna, hav a safe and fun trip to taiwan! :)
haiz, goodness gracious! i am so envious. nah, jus kidding.

it will be my turn in may. yeah! bankok trip with love and frenz. mi lyk the sound of it. super duper elated just tinking about going overseas with babykiins. just lyk tt time we went to genting. :)

to my victoria dear. my dear, darling, love and sweetheart et cetera since sec sch. call mi up yeah, when u are free, which i noe the odds is very little. haha. at least for this month. :)

yawns. darling dear where are u. i tot u will be back by now? i need my daily dose of pampering. hee...

hey

to my dearest darling, i noe u are tired, stressed with work and all et cetera but dun bring the stress home alrite? its not fair to mi. u can choose to tok, i'll listen kays? do u noe it always hurts when u get easily very easily irritated in these times? its lyk my feelings does worth anything to u u noe?

okie, anyway abit of updates.

went to Jurong point for some shopping but nothing caught my fancy so well, money saved haha. renewed my phone contract too with a new iphone. haha, but i sold it to darling. well, at least up till now i am still not a iphone fan so why bother rite?

met up with mei and family and dinner is served at sakura! yeah... er, not literally larz, its a buffet wad so we serve ourselves haha... i ate damn huge amount of food larz, but dunno why not really full lorz.

but i guess i lyk the ambience at the clementi woods sakura better.. the design of the 900plus sakura lyk macham foodcourt lehz..lol...

takeaway sushi for darling ytd, is it ytd or the day before i forget liao hee... was at jp and texted darling whether he wanted anything but i was alrdy tinking of sushi but dare not ask him. later i guess wrg leh? hahaha... but as it turned out. he indeed wanted sushi so sushi it is.

speaking of which, i suddenly hav the urge to make sushi at home lol. but then hav to go buy lotsa ingredients, all darz favorite. :) okok, i tink maybe a few days later..

OMG, gotta rush.. bye all..

wad do u see?

when u see mi, hav u ever taken any time to notice if i am happy or sad?

when i greet u with a cheerful face everyday without fail, hav u ever wondered a sec tt tt is just a cover for wad is hurting inside?

wad role do i actually play in ur heart, mind and soul?

when i am consoling others i actually do hav saddness in my heart too. didnt it feels stupid?

i just want u to show mi u love mi, u need mi, not just telling mi tt when i tell u about it.
u noe, in actions?

anyway, i guess its the same old ranting. cuz u wun get to read it.

u noe this blog, but i guess u tink u dun need to read.

Everyday becomes a routine to mi. pathetic. at the end of the day, its off to bed i guess...

gd nite.

weird ppl

some ppl are jus freaking weird.

i just read xiaxue's post today. haha, tt melinda is freaking bo liao lorz. haha.

seriously why the hell ppl do this kind of thing? very fun mehz? maybe they thrive in ppl's sorrow et cetera. haha

i still rmb having this particular girl tt messaged mi in friendster 1 yr plus ago i tink.

guess wad its about?

she is messaging mi just to tell mi how gd my current bf is, and how he is her most raved guy among all her bfs. to top it off, she wants to tell mi to cherish him and the time spent together with him.

for god's sake!
seriously funny/ crazily insane rite?

and i m lyk " i dun need U to tell mi how gd a bf he IS."

"and i dun need to noe he is the greatest guy or wad ever u hav ever meet cuz to mi its redundant and bullshit."

"and i dun freaking need u to remind mi to cherish him cuz FYI u hav no stand anymore."

do i need u to tell mi all these? or u just wan to msg mi to make mi feel sorry for u or quarrel with him or brk up with him ?

well, we all are human so if u r the previous girl, i would not hav mind( maybe just alittle) becuz well, u are the ex. but u are the ex ex. so tt makes alot of difference. tt alone will forfeit u the reason to msg mi in friendster regarding my bf.

(it happens tt she msged my bf too, but different from mine and bf told mi about it and ask mi not to care)

i noe its so long ago and i shdnt hav bring it all up but well, reading xiaxue's blog jus brought this topic up so well, let mi rant abit yeah?

and for a 1 or 2 mths i tot tt was it. peaceful life will return and i can relax in darling's arms. but hell no. she say she got cancer. told the whole world she only had a few months left.

WTF rite??!!!??!?!?!?

Some ppl are just so imaginative. maybe its the influence of the korean drama/soap operas or tv sitcoms. if i am not careful i might hav really tot tt it was real. darling and the whole grp noes about it and they told mi not to be swayed by her so i jus carried on with my life. then one day darling return home to tell mi tt she took her hp for repair at his shop and conveniently told him and his grp of frenz tt she got cancer and now she just want to fulfil her life everyday tts all. lol.

clementi so many hp shops and she oh-so-conveniently brought her hp to jurong. lol then why cant she collect it herself at the same place? why muz let my bf sent the hp to her void deck?

and i ask darling if he believes her story. guess wad is his reply?

"aiyah, she bluff wan larz, she always bluff ppl wan..."

HAV U COME ACROSS SUCH PPL TOO?

its quite hard to believe they existed unless u ran into them huh?

lethargic

i dunno why but i am so freaking tired of everything these few days.
maybe its the 'emo' period lol, beats mi...

went to illusion on sat for boon's birthday celebration.

was lazying ard packing things etc when dear seetin smsed, asking whether i wanna go shopping. lol, her reason? she jus got her pay hee...

met up with her ard 6 plus @ far east plaza. hmm, bought nothing as bankok trip is nearing. but i am still very tempted to buy dresses and tube jumpers from blossoms. haiz... i super love dresses!!!

seetin was looking forward to spend an amount at a certain shop to get her membership but then haiz, no luck. the current season not tt tempting. :)

late nite shopping at orchard tt nite so we set off for illusion only at ard 11 plus near 12mn. hee.
we were lyk so so surprised tt cine was still very packed larz.

haiz, tired tired tired...

baby, faster settle ur tings and come back... i want sayang, i feel so empty... ( not ur fault larz, just suddenly wan to hav a little tantrum and hope to cuddle in ur arms.)

(".) muacks

funny show

oh yah, gotta recommend a show for u guys.

its something lyk friends. but its more "chim". there's more substance in it larz. if u dun understand then u wun find it enjoyable. and some characters tok very fast.

its called: the big bang theory
its damn damn funny larz. nice show.
i super love sheldon. he is lyk so so so logical in absolutely everything. REALLY!!!

go watch and u will noe why.

thanks arh L, now tt u recommend mi the show i hav been stuck in front of my com till i finish the whole series. not to mention u got urself "poon-ed" whahaha... "self-poon" ( inside joke)

kk... i go continue my show liao.

oh yah, HOW I MET YOUR MUM also very nice. kinda lyk rubbish rubish type lol. also darn funny.

hav fun everyone.

:)

trust

if

*

one day

**

u found out

***

tt the person whom u trust the most

********

is the person who betrayed u to the ultimum.

***************

wad will u do?

----

kill him/her?

treat it as nothing ever happen so tt everything will be like last time?

kill urself?

___

what if

*

ur fren noes

*

but nv tell u

*

wad will u tink?

wad will u do?

hmm...

i always feel insecure when he/they are with him somemore at tt kinda places. haiz... alot of things tt cannot be said cuz firstly he may deny, and secondly he wun believe, which brings mi back to the first point cuz the evidences are relevant but then again he will deny thus not believing nor understanding why i feel this way.

i noe i noe, everybody will say well, it depends on how much u trust him yada yadah yadah... yes i noe and a big yes i do trust him but then well, if u noe mi, to put it in a blunt and straight forward way, " HE IS MINE. I DUN LYK PPL(girls) TO TOUCH NO MATTER HOW OR WHERE!" sry darling, i dun mean to be crude but then its directly translated from chinese and i noe this is wad u will feel too towards mi so its the same yeah?

a little digression. just a tad.

sian. i always tot homo sapiens are the most superior(spell check anyone, i am lazy) species among all? but well, stories and all always struck mi in awe as to why are we lyk well, degrading instead of improving?

okie ppl not everyone but i am speaking again IN GENERAL. peace :)

jus cant understand and curious, so well...

have anyone ever told u tt :"in order to have something, u hav got to work hard to get it."
i am sure this is the typical teachers, parents teaching to us rite?

but hav u ever hear ppl saying to u :" there's no free dinner in this world. if u wan _________, u got to give ( insert whoever's name) __________ in exchange for it. "

according to this sentence, how far will u go?


for ppl who are curious as to who told mi this or where i hear this from, i will answer only this much: this sentence is the basic element of wad was being told to mi. but i shall not disclose the full story/sentence cuz i dun wan to pick up any fight or rubbish from PASSERS-BY who hav absolutely nothing to do. ACCUSATION IS ALSO NOT MY TOPIC OF THE DAY.

i wrote abt this cuz it jus came back into memory and i was pondering as to why ppl can do such a thing and horrors of horror, there are a whole lot of ppl doing it.

share a story with u guys.

no offence to anyone. i just find this amusing. :)

i was told by one of my customer/client while working at one of the skincare counters tt there's this "in" thing now in the pros*******n industry. haha
she was doing some shopping for cosmetic at this certain counter when she saw this china woman browsing thru the make-ups/skincare and fragances. the china woman was looking sorta scared and then my customer saw the guy standing beside her. they dun look/behave lyk a couple and so tt arouse my customer's curiousity. the woman will browse, pick up something, look at the guy quizzingly, and repeat the previous actions till a product/s tt she lyk is in the suitable price range for the guy(who was suppose to pay for the item/s) and then head off to the cashier. amused by the scene, my customer who was a regular at tt counter chatted with the BA to find out wad was the whole idea behind. it was then revealed tt now, guys dun need to pay in cash for s**. they just have to buy what ever the P wants and then pay( within the range). Amazing rite? Branded, cosmetics etc etc... wad has the world become?
my ex-colleague heard of this too, we were listening to it together lol. :)

in the animal kindom, animals hav wild romps cuz its typical, to ensure life continues, cuz to them, life is short. essential.
whereas in the human world, its nothing about reproduction, its just for the pleasure and sadly, for a purpose( see above to understand). again, hav we forgotten about the existence of HIV(human immunodeficiency virus)? is it worth it?

over-rated?

well, i must say, W-O-W WOW!

so many things all happening again. and again. haiz, why ppl why?

okie digression...

as i have blogged in my previous post before, the word forever is so darn over-rated! yes, u heard mi rite. it IS OVER-rated.

have ur fren ever told u tt u will be frens FOREVER and then something happened or did not happen but somehow or rather u guys dun tok EVER again?
wait wait dun interupt mi...

have ur bf/gf told u tt u will always be together FOREVER not matter what nobody's gonna leave but then over night or somehow or rather, u guys walked different directions and NEVER EVER contacted again?
aei amigo wait wait a moment...

have anywan ever told u tt something of some sort will lyk last FOREVER or take FOREVER before u finish or somewad similar( u noe wad i mean) but then it really DOES NOT TAKE FOREVER to measure? esp in sales huh? :)

see amigo SEE!

ppl use the word FOREVER so sparingly tt its not lyk the high class cavier served in those uppity restaurant, its lyk it can be poured into bowls after bowls de ketchup/chilli sauce. somemore free of charge. lmao

so well ppl, if anywan tells u again blah blah blah FOREVER, jus give a laugh and take its as at tt point only. well, i noe some ARE meant to be for real, THE REAL FOREVER but who noes? at least u dun get ur expectations too high up ya?

dun expect on the FOREVER. Expect more from the present. cherish the present. its easier, simplier and nearer, rite guys? haha if even for the present u are unhappy or in a messy sticky sorta situation then wads there in ur FOREVER(the future). the continuence of getting stuck? are u gonna get happy then ?

:)

embrace ur precious ones now, ur family and frenz, ppl who loves u, ur mi corazon( sry if i spell wrg, lazy to check) and cherish the present time tt u hav with them and forget about getting ur promise of the FOREVER thingy cuz only when u are happy and blissful now will it then lead to ur future happiness.

cheers!

im off to bed.

:)

UPDATES

friday-
went bowling with jie and mei ling @safra mt faber.
yeah! got a high score of 156!!

(i am S-sheryl ; i noe for most ppl is lyk normal but for mi its quite a feat le k :) )

there was a sorta sales on the ground floor tt we went to while waiting for jie to reach safra. spent quite a few bucks haha. called darling whether he wants to replenish his stuff but he said its enough le so i didnt buy any. meiling jie was saying i very auntie, always noe got this kind of sale but hey, i jus walked past so of cuz i must noe mar rite?
hee, end up meiling bought lots of stuffs LOL. so who is the auntie rite now? hee :)

ate dinner and headed down to fly with them. jennifer joined us soon after. oh yah, saw alicia there too. haha. sry darling was tinking of going home early but i guess i hav a tad too much. hee.. sry darling dun angry k? considering i rarely go there de. :)

saturday-
giddy and down rite sick. keep wanting to vomit still so stayed at home. hee

sunday-
went fishing with hubbii and his frenz. kor, sunny, tortoise, steph, and anson. terry was SUPPOSED to be there but well, he went of in his aeroplane hee...

had lotsa fun, biibii caught 7 fish in total, not counting the wans tt he let go lol...

the total loot? 20 fishy fishy!!! :)

u shd hav looked at their faces when they are fighting the fish, damn serious man. i love the look on darling's face, so serious so shuai feel lyk kissing him on the spot. lol :) tts why i like to pei darling go fishing. no shopping nothing much to do also nvm. hee

tok to steph on some guys issues. seems lyk her tinking and mine is the same. lol...
the "bangs" hee..

seems lyk tt group of guys tt we belong to lyk their girlfrens to be a plain jane rather than pretties... god noes why, maybe cuz they dun lyk others to see or stare?

but but if ur gf is pretty or makes effort to prettify herself, dun u feel honoured?(cuz its for u) at least she willing to let u hav a better deal or sort( u look better?)

erm, i mean at least ppl wun say "er, huh? orh u mean this is ur girlfren arhz?" then seriously doubt ur taste in the back of their minds.

haha, all in all its just something to tink about. no offends to anywan. :)

so long nv meet u le girl, i miss u man!

yawns, signing off...

bye !

asdfghjkl

我好生气啊！！！！！
你不理我就算了！！！！

呵！

to go or not to go?

pel called jus now asking whether wan to go out. watch "race to witch mountain".

I SO WANNA GO LEHX, but then haiz, stupid.
later i keep running for the washroom, sian...

hmm, stay at home recuperate. tml or the day after maybe go back do test check. haiz, see how larz...

watching billy elliot now on funshion. damn touching.
i totally embrace those w.shakespeare shows and stories and movies with dance genre. maybe its also becuz i read the stories when i was young so it felt gd to watch these films. :) familiarity. yeap.

darling went out to drink AGAIN. yea, but nvm, wait for him to come home.
jie they all playing majong, haha, uncle hands itchy jio ka. haha

my sides are still pain damn. darling faster come home sayang mi!

sian-ness

i am so darn bored.

i am so darn darn bored at home.

i am so sick sick sick of eating medicine.

stupid.

short trip

jie sms ask whether i wan to go out. was tinking of safra or somwhere near. then she tot of ikea. haha... i immediately agreed. long time since i went there.

i had always lyk to go ikea, since sch days haha...



1stly, it cuz there feels so homely, and its kinda nice to browse and imagine wad my future house will be like. hee

2ndly, i so darn love the spanish meatball served there.... sweet juicy meatballs with that oh so delicious gravy, with potatoes and cranberry sauce...



walked ard looking at furnitures, crap and play, bought a few essentials and then jie say wan to try the meatballs. haha, shared a plate of 15. yummy! jie says yummy till feel lyk orgasm lol.

haiz, korkor jia lat liao...



guess where we headed to nxt?



sing shiong, haha...

we bought 5 bottles of vege oil, 5 litres each lol. jus mi and jie carry lol... with dynamo and bleach, and fruit juices and mee... haha... damn heavy. oh yeah, we saw a mouse in the supermart. lol sorta shouted out and the assistant immediately go chase after it. haha...

was totally out of breathh after carrying it to uncle's house haha.. so headed home instead of going safra. haha... nvm, nxt time.

going ikea again soon. :)

okie bye. gotta eat med and slp liao. haiz... sian ..

to the doc

haiz, went to the doc's today. sian. this is the sec time liao, argh! got a course of antibiotics for 5 days. sian...
heng arh, tt time i got a big bag full of pills lorz, haha...

wasting myself at home now, jus had my dinner and med...

online watching tv hee. darling faster come home pei mi. u noe i sick very fragile de.
:(

feel lyk going safra haha...

muchas gracis

thanks baby!

went to my'sia for a little relaxation today with baby, keong, lian, boon, juan, anson, zhen, hong and elaine. first time going in with baby. he always goes in with boon and all the guys only or most of the time, raymond. haha.

actually i didnt noe they were planning a trip there, i tot was fishing or sth.
the convo goes lyk tt:

"darling, u going where tml?"
"oh, i going my'sia tml."
"with kor they all arh?"
"yeah, and boon and dunno who..."
"bii, then mi lehz? i got go?"
"got arh, we go together lorz. where's ur passport?"

lol rite?
sometimes darling tok very funny wan. nv say straight to the point de. need to ask de. imagine if my passport not with mi? lol. i jus suddenly tot of the need to change my passport photo so i took it from home. lol jus nice. haha.

so we went to have ba kut teh first. of cuz after quite a massive jam. haha, but the line of cars were still in constant movement jus tt its a tat slow. but better then stopping and not moving at all! :)

then to southern for car accessories for the guys and we girls went for a walk ard. nothing much to shop. haha. off to holiday for mani and pedi. :):):) ITS THE SAME PRICE AS IN SINGAPORE LOL. BUT IN RINGGIT!! haha, happily did a classic pedi and top with extra colors woots. wanted to do my hands but i just buff and trim and shine it myself ytd so its lyk wasteful and somemore i always manage to spoil my mani outside, cuz its not totally dried actually so jus forget about it. haha

jie, heng and xiong came in the afternoon. jie did a dye and cut. quite nice lehz, and cheap, 280 buck nia. but i haven decide on wad style and i was kinda wanting to rebond again so well. next time. hee...

guess wad we had for dinner? crabby!!!! haha, heng i nv do mani if not sure sure sure spoil. how can i give up my crabby for my manicure? LOL say until lyk crabby is my darling lyk tt.

anyway, was kinda sick, so abit sian. and now, i am feeling abit of fever or headache liao i tink? haiz, dunno larz, die liao, tml go see doc ask darling to fetch mi ....

so feel lyk sai nai-ing now.... coo for darling...



guess wad we had for dinner?

a funny news

saw this piece of news on yahoo before i went to bed.

i just had to put this up. haha...

LONDON (AFP) - - A British man fed up with his wife's complaints advertised her for sale -- and got a number of offers.

"Nagging Wife. No Tax, No MOT. Very high maintenance -- some rust," wrote Gary Bates, 38, in a small ad in Trade-It, more usually used to buy and sell cars or household goods.
Bates, a self-employed builder from Gloucestershire, southwest England, snapped after his wife Donna on got on his nerves while she was watching television and decided to place the ad as a joke.
"She was nagging me for doing something small, while she was watching some rubbish on TV. So I just thought I'd put an ad in to get rid of her.
"I didn't think anyone would ring up but I've had at least nine or 10 people calling about her. It's gone mad. There was no one I knew -- just people asking, 'Is she still available?'"
The couple only married last year, and Bates said his 40-year-old wife -- whom he advertised in the magazine's Free to Collect section, along with some of his fishing tackle -- initially gave him "a bit of an ear-bashing."
But he said: "She's seen the funny side of it now though!"

isnt it funnny? haha, imagine if u are angry at ur bf or gf and u put them up on sale.

okie, gotto go to bed.
ima waking up early tml.

ewww...

i love this song

speaks alot...

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你
不敢打给你 我找不到原因
为什么失眠的声音 变得好熟悉
沉默的场景 做你的代替 陪我等雨停

期待让人越来越沉迷
谁和我一样 等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会 寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪 一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴
其实没有我你分不清那些差别
结局还能多明显
别说你会难过 别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

期待让人越来越疲惫
谁和我一样 等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会 寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪 一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴
其实没有我你分不清那些差别
结局还能多明显
别说你会难过 别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉


怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴
其实没有我你分不清那些差别
结局还能多明显
别说你会难过 别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉


doesnt the lyrics speaks of a whole world?

haha, its of the questions tt i keep pondering about, but sadly u hav no answers for mi.

love hurts

went illusion ytd to pei jie and yeap since i am outside....


:)


today was suppose to meet one of my frenz but kenna aeroplane lol. when down to illusion near by to hav dinner with jie then went to illusion to hav a drink.
i swear we were there jus to relax and sing and tok... lol...
we drank 2 jugs each day nia.. lol and it was with wendy and jonathan. HAHA.

today we had yummy little cakes courtesy of jie who walk over to glace cuz it was featured in cleo mag i tink. shard it with wendy and all we took a taste at every single one.

IT WAS ABSOLUTELY HEAVENLY! even jonathan(a guy) says so.
(THE LOOK OF PURE ESTASY SAYS IT ALL-------------> we hav a photo to prove tt look. lol)
then jonathan say cannot lyk ah boon see his face in tt photo. he say ah boon will say it looks lyk cum face, lol... laugh till drop on the floor.

but haiz, it wasnt a very happy day cuz jie is sad.

wad to say?
love hurts.
totally.
its when u love someone so much tt it totally puts u down. u throw away ur diginity above everything to find tt he doesnt have the heart to settle down, lyk long term. its lyk someone gives u his heart and u are so protective of it then out of a sudden it dawn on u tt its not his heart, its a granite, time bomb. but u r already holding on to it so long tt u cannot put it down anymore. it explodes once u drop it on the ground. but alas eventually it will jus go off too cuz the time is up.
boom.
no choice.
u have none.

a porcupine without spikes is useless. it cant even protect itself. as good as dead.

do u noe tt feeling?