mixedfeelings??

dayshavepassedsincethelasttimeiblogged.
well,alotofthingsttiwantedtotokaboutbutwell,couldnttinkofanytowrite,
asinthei-have-alot-of-things-in-mind-but-unable-to-express-in-wordsdillemia.
sowell,tosummariesitasmuchasicould:
-dunnowhysomehowsometimeinfactmostofthetimeifindmylifeboring.
-isomehowlostinterestinalotofthings.
-suddenlyitinkiamfat,yesitinkihavegrownfatomfg!
-gotasuddenurgetobuylotsofcollagenandvitaminsandminerals,itinkmybodyiscravingforthemlol.
-ifeeldownandsadcuzdarlingneglectedmithisfewdaescuzhekeepsgoingoutwithhisfrenz.
andalotbehindmybrainandidunnohowtowritedowninwords.

andiwannaconfesssomethings:
-ilovemybestiesbutsomehowidunseemtocontactthem.ttsbadinoe.
-actuallywannagooutwithbestietogoclubbingandallbutcannot.
-actuallydarlingforbidmitogoclubwithotherpplcuzhesaytheplacesvery"luan".
inoeheisconcernaboutmibutistillquitesad.
cuzsomehowitseemtthecancontrolwhereigobuticannotcontrolwherehego.
ifidiediewantogothenhewillreluctantlysayokiebutthenhisfaceortonalitywheniget homeorstraightafterwillbevery"bushuang".
soisactually=cannotgo
-andialsoquitesadttdarlingsaycannotweardressgoclubifgotgocuzdangerousasinwill"zhouguang",
butthenagainalllpeoplewearnicenicegoclubdewad.singleandattachedpplallwad.
isacrificealotofmybestie/frenz-timeforubutiguessuwouldevennoe.butuwouldntdothesameformi,even iflyk30%.sad
-srybestie,alotofthetimeuaskmigooutintheniteididntevenaskcuzasklewill"dio"scoldingde,soi
darenotask.ushouldnoede,ilovealantoomuchtodareriskhimnotlovingmianymoreorworse,hatingmi.
usaidttwithoutalaniwilldie.yesitstrueandunoesoplsforgivemi.

stopforamoment.
iamstillwaittingformydarlingtocomehome.
yes.now.late.alone.haiz.
wadamidoingialsodunno.
dunworry,hedunreadblog,evenmine.
guessi'llwritetillherethen.

signoff---